2. The impact of an increasingly Fatherless society.
A special-forces friend of mine from WWII once said to me:
“Modern children love their parents, but they are not inspired by them and they certainly do not want to be like them.”
Hearing this had a profound effect on me but it was what he said next that really stunned me. He then said:
“My Father was the sort of man that led by example, with courage and made me want to be just like him. Your generation doesn’t have that any more so you feel lost and misguided.”
I didn’t even have a response to his comment and thought about it for a long time afterwards. Probably because I was raised without my father and the men I did have in my family were far from healthy role models.
What’s happened to those days gone by when boys aspired to be like and guided by their fathers or other positive family role models?
Nowadays we don’t expect our sons to introduce themselves as “Uhtred, son of Uhtred” as the lead character does in the series ‘The Last Kingdom’ set in the 9th Century AD! However, we do seem to have gone so far the other way that children are specifically going out of their way to not be like their fathers.
Our world is now finding out that devaluing and degrading a mans role within a family, as well as society at large in some countries, is detrimental to both sexes; especially children who are the biggest and often forgotten victims of a fatherless generation.
I remember how I yearned for male role models and felt a deep void for never having one.
We now have a society where fathers and their children are becoming more and more disconnected.
Men often feel disconnected not only from society but from themselves.
What I’ve learnt is only men can guide boys into becoming men and the impact of a fatherless society is an absolute catastrophe.
… Since working with Simon I have developed a deeper understanding of myself and who I want to be. His methods have delivered a greater clarity of direction for me and have made me take responsibility for where I am now, not only as a human being but as a husband and parent.“
~ Testimonial from Steve ~ Business Owner and father of two
We have fallen into an idea that Fathers are not necessary and the results are there for everyone to see and feel the impact from this void.
Yet fathers are often the boundary setters for children. They stretch them out of their physical comfort zones and deliver a more masculine energy that every child needs.
I have seen many men with numerous forms of OCD, ADHD, and other behavioural issues, stemming from a fatherless background.
A fatherless background can also be emotional absence and not just physical.
In addition, gang violence is often traced back to the absence of fathers and positive male role models.
Due to my own experience as a mentor and coach in this increasingly fatherless generation; a film is being made on my life and work which demonstrates the issues and challenges this is causing.
You can see the trailer here:
It is men that have the capability to turn around much of the mental health issues of depression and anxiety in the world today and the gang violence that prevails in the Western world.
What a tremendous societal transforming reason to explore and work on our own challenges!
It’s not even about the individual man. It’s about all men uniting for a common cause and setting an example for those to follow.
The fatherless society will continue to create a far reaching, generational impact, which the full damage from this crisis is yet to be seen.